Fantasy vs Reality: Home Gardening

Fantasy: Living in an environmentally sustainable home with minimal energy usage and an integrated and abundant edible landscape.

Reality: 1. We let our lawn go gold to bring our water bill down.  2.  I'm not super fond of getting dirty. & 3. I'm afraid of bugs.    

Fear of bugs memory: When I was a teenager, my mom told me to go wash out my cat's water bowl.  I obediently went to clean out the bowl, only to discover a slug on the rim of the bowl!  I quickly ran screaming to Mom, but alas, I knew my fate when I saw the look on her face; I was about to get a character building lesson.  There was a lot of staring, pacing, positive self talk, and calm breathing...but finally I had to take action (Mom said dinner was ready and I better hurry up).  I flipped the bowl over and ran for cover.  (Now that I'm thinking about this, where was Nancy?!   And why didn't I use a stick?)  When I finally calmed down enough to flipped the overturned bowl back over, I was relieved to discover that the slug had been dislodge.  I cleaned the bowl, gave my cat fresh water and went inside to have dinner.  I have no further recollection of what happened to the slug.

Return to present:
So our backyard is a barren landscape.